What would you do in this situation? marital problems?

My husband and I get along fairly well most of the time. It never fails though, if we have a few drinks, things go sour and then we are mad at each other for a week it seems. he becomes a bully, he will shove me around or slap me until I snap. i usually hit him back once and that only adds fuel to the fire. he says the things that I say, which are merely my opinions and never too blunt, get him fired up. And throughout all of this, he has never once said he was sorry. We just ignore each other for a few days and then we eventually come back around. I would like to be able to kick back and have a few drinks with him, but it just seems like everything goes to crap really fast. He owns a chain of bars too, so we are around alcohol a lot and dont drink that often. I am tired of being bruised and sad because I say things to set him off. I want things to be the way that they used to be. I want respect. How do I get him to be good to me again? I want him to appreciate me.